Discernment might be the most overrated of virtues. I know those words caught me off guard as well when they echoed from the mouth of my seminary rector. What was he trying to say? Too often, I believe, we get caught up in discerning God’s will for us or our various situations. We tend to stress and agonize over the direction in which God is calling us to go. What is the will of God? We have all been there. Who is God calling me to marry? Does God want me to go to this college or that? Is God calling me to be a priest or a religious?
While it is always important to consider what God is calling us to in particular circumstances, we must never forget that the will of God is not something that He chooses to keep hidden from us.
We shouldn’t spend countless hours worrying about what He wants us to do. That is unhealthy and can oftentimes lean more toward vice than virtue. The will of God is simple. God wills salvation. That’s it. God, who is Love itself, made us out of goodness and mercy. He calls us back to the fullness of Himself.
St. Paul’s first letter to Timothy tells us, “God wills everyone to be saved and to come to knowledge of the truth.” This brief verse in Sacred Scripture tells us something about us as human beings made in the image and likeness of God. It tells us that we possess an inherent dignity that can never be stripped. Our God has shown us an abundance of love and mercy. He designs us to return to the fullness of Heaven. However, the path to Heaven is up to us.
As Catholics, we know it is our duty and responsibility to respond to the love that God has given us. God’s grace comes to its apex in our lives when we worship Him in the Holy Mass. At the end of the Sacred Liturgy, we are told to glorify the Lord by our lives. This is where the rubber hits the road. This is where discernment truly begins.
Now that we understand that God made us out of Love, that He calls us back to Himself, that we receive His salvific grace through the Sacraments and through our worship of Him, and that we are sent on mission, we can now make practical considerations when it comes to discernment.
In the United States, there are roughly 400,000 children in the foster care system. This is a tragedy. This is something the Church is called to address as part of its mission of glorifying God by our lives. How do we do that? Perhaps you find yourself in a situation where you sense God is calling you to get involved in the response. You could be asking yourself, how could I even begin to get involved? What can I do?
The first thing is prayer. Prayer is absolutely essential in the process of discernment. If we do not open our hearts and minds to God, if we do not heed the voice of the Holy Spirit, then our efforts are useless because we choose to act alone and not by God’s grace.
The second practical consideration in discernment is knowing ourselves. If we do not have an authentic understanding of who we are as beloved sons and daughters of God, then how could we ever honestly give ourselves to what God is asking? It is important to know our gifts and weaknesses, to know where we can stretch ourselves, and to be honest about our limitations.
In other words, we must understand that God has given us the tools we need to respond to this crisis in various ways. In the case of discerning whether to foster or adopt, spouses need to communicate during this stage to ensure that they are of the same mind, and to consider such practical matters as whether they have the material and emotional resources for such an undertaking, or not. Whether we bring children into our home, volunteer with a fostering ministry, or join the cause solely by our prayers depends on some of these practical considerations.
Finally, do not be afraid to respond. Oftentimes, when we know God is calling us to something, we let our fear get in the way. We become like Simon Peter, who took his eye off the Lord and focused on the storm. Fear is the most paralyzing force in the universe. I would argue that fear, along with pride, is one of the roots of sinfulness. Fear comes when we take our focus off the fact that we are made by God and called back to Him in the fullness of Heaven. Scripture says hundreds of times, “Do not be afraid.”
As Catholics, we know we are called to take leaps of faith. We know we are called to show every child that they are loved, valued, wanted, and accepted by God and the Church. Respond! DO NOT BE AFRAID.
Fostering or adopting may seem overwhelming at first. But approaching discernment with an open heart and starting with small steps can get you to a place where you can discern honestly, without fear of so many unknowns.
The point of my post this month is not to make discernment something it’s not. If you are anxious and agonizing over where God is calling you, then that is a good indicator something is out of alignment. As long as we stay connected to God through prayer and the sacramental life of the Church, if we make practical considerations about our state in life, and are not afraid to respond, then I would say you are discerning well. God calls us to the fullness of Himself. Let’s not take our focus off that and respond well to the crisis at hand.
May God bless you.
Fr. Christopher Kight is a priest for the Diocese of Owensboro, KY, and the Spiritual Director of Springs of Love. He was adopted into a Catholic family at six weeks old, and believes it is the Church’s responsibility to care for children and families involved in fostering and adoption. He will offer occasional spiritual insights and reflections that pertain to our mission at Springs of Love.
If you are discerning fostering or adoption, be sure to register for our free, virtual, self-guided retreat, entitled “Be Not Afraid,” featuring videos and materials for your discernment journey. Resources are also available on our Discernment page.
