In 2013, I thought my fairytale was over. My 14-year marriage had just come to an end and I found myself saying goodbye to my dreams of raising a big family. My three daughters, ages 3, 7 and 9 at the time, needed a mom who, when not climbing the corporate ladder, could be available for their every need. I tucked away the call on my heart.
In 2017 my parish priest decided to play matchmaker. He and some dear friends conspired to bring Matthew and his three young daughters into my life. We married and quickly went about blending our family, with faith as the foundation.
With Matthew, I felt safe to share my deepest longings. I told him I felt like I wasn’t done mothering. There were more children waiting for me.
Fast forward to 2025: 4 years into our journey of fostering. Six placements we have had the chance to parent. In my writing, I have found a place to ponder all the complexities of this unique call.
We have held space for hearts and hands.
On watch, always waiting for a call to come.
We didn’t just arrive here.
It was an aching we answered. One that first required months of pandemic pondering before we realized this was where he was asking us to be.
A family of 8 with two professional careers, 6 girls between the ages of 9 and 16, and lives already full of track meets, field hockey practices and parent teacher conferences. Yet the words kept appearing in prayer, “If not us, then who?”
Now four years into our foster care journey, immeasurable times moved to tears by the process.
The babies who’ve passed through these doors, slept in that crib and cried in our arms.
The children who’ve made us giggle and reminded us that the world we live in is not ours alone.
The moms and dads we have watched struggle and soar.
The caseworkers – the good ones who have loved our family as their own, and the not-so-good ones who treated us all like a commodity as they shuffled a life off of their “caseload”.
Six placements, six of God’s children we would not have known had we not embarked on this journey.
Often, we are told what a blessing we are to these children. Each time I am stunned by friends and strangers’ affirmations.
Can they not see the blessing received is far greater than anything given?
As we stand on the precipice of adoption for placement #5 and placement #6, twenty-two months after they crossed the threshold of our farmhouse door, I can’t help but stand in awe of the story God has written with our “yes”.
A “yes” that brought more joy and more pain than we thought our hearts could hold.
These highs and these lows have made us better humans.
And for these things we are thankful.
Heather Ulrey is a wife, a mother, a Pittsburgh native, and a recovering lobbyist. She leads government and community relations for Mount Carmel Health System, a network of Catholic Hospitals in Central Ohio.
When not connecting the government and the community to the health system, she is a board member for Ohio CASA and is licensed by the state of Ohio as a foster parent.
Heather and her husband Matt reside with their six daughters and two foster children on their family farm in central Ohio. They try really hard to raise Icelandic sheep but have been more successful in their pursuit of keeping native wildflowers alive.
Heather ponders the wonders of her world and the joys of blending a family at A Joyful Life | The greatest WordPress.com site in all the land!
